First is the distinction between reaction and response. Reaction is dominated by the other person. He insults you: you get angry, and then you act out of anger. This is reaction. You are not an independent person; anybody can pull you this way or that way. You are easily affected; you can be blackmailed emotionally. Reaction is an emotional blackmail. You were not angry. The man insulted you, and his insult created anger; now out of anger comes your action.
Response is out of freedom. It is not dependent on the other person. The other person may insult you, but you don’t become angry; on the contrary you meditate on the fact – why is he insulting you? Perhaps he is right. Then you have to be grateful to him, not get angry.
Perhaps he is wrong. If he is wrong, then for his wrong why should you burn your heart with anger?
“I’m gonna fight ’em off
A seven nation army couldn’t hold me back
They’re gonna rip it off
Taking their time right behind my back
And I’m talkin’ to myself at night
Because I can’t forget
Back and forth through my mind
Behind a cigarette
And the message comin’ from my eyes says leave it alone…
Don’t wanna hear about it
Every single one’s got a story to tell
Everyone knows about it
From the Queen of England to the hounds of hell
And if I catch it comin’ back my way
I’m gonna serve it to you
And that ain’t what you want to hear
But that’s what I’ll do
And the feeling coming from my bones says find a home…
I’m going to Wichita
Far from this opera forevermore
I’m gonna work the straw
Make the sweat drip out of every pore
And I’m bleeding, and I’m bleeding, and I’m bleeding
Right before the lord
All the words are gonna bleed from me
And I will think no more
And the stains comin’ from my blood tell me “Go back home”…”
your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is a light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.
A question for our e-mail/ Feedly/RSS readers: On yesterday’s post “It’s Not Your Job,” I forgot to close off comments, which led to a short dialogue about if, as readers, you would like the option to leave comments or to “like” posts. Our rationale when starting this new project was, given the post-a-day format, we didn’t want to overwhelm anyone or put pressure or expectations on anyone to like or comment on every post; we thought closing the comments would make it easier on everyone, including ourselves. But, while Words is foremost about the words, it’s also about community and about how words can resonate so strongly with us that we really want to give voice to that emotion.
So I’m asking you, kind reader, do you have an opinion on open comments vs. closed comments? How about likes?
Listen. If you are following us, you like us. We appreciate that. We like you too. But with daily posts, we do not expect you to comment or like daily — but if you would like us to open that door, and at least give you the option, or if you want us to keep the door closed even, please feel free to add your voice to the discussion. We’re in this together, and with daily posts, you and me and Jennie are going to feel pretty close this year — so “say what you want to say, let the words fall out” and talk to us, about commenting, or about anything … We’ll leave comments AND likes open this week, and we’ll plan a democratic decision to be made next Sunday, Jan. 19.
Check out yesterday’s comments and then feel free to comment here or there or anywhere this week.
when your little girl
asks you if she’s pretty
your heart will drop like a wineglass
on the hardwood floor
part of you will want to say
of course you are, don’t ever question it
and the other part
the part that is clawing at
you
will want to grab her by her shoulders
look straight into the wells of
her eyes until they echo back to you
and say
you do not have to be if you don’t want to
it is not your job
both will feel right
one will feel better
she will only understand the first
when she wants to cut her hair off
or wear her brother’s clothes
you will feel the words in your
mouth like marbles
you do not have to be pretty if you don’t want to
it is not your job
Words ... for the Time Being 