“The Masochist” by Maxine Kumin

The Masochist

My black-eyed lover broke my back,
that hinge I swung on in and out
and never once thought twice about,

expecting a lifetime guarantee.
He snapped that simple hinge for me.
My black-eyed lover broke my back.

All delicate with touch and praise
he one by one undid the screws
that held the pin inside its cup

and when I toppled like a door
–his bitch, his bountiful, his whore–
he did not stay to lift me up.

Beware of black-eyed lovers. Some
who tease to see you all undone,
who taste and take you in the game

will later trample on your spine
as if they never called you mine,
mine, mine.

~ Maxine Kumin

“The next suitable person you’re in light conversation with…

“The next suitable person you’re in light conversation with, you stop suddenly in the middle of the conversation and look at the person closely and say, “What’s wrong?” You say it in a concerned way. He’ll say, “What do you mean?” You say, “Something’s wrong. I can tell. What is it?” And he’ll look stunned and say, “How did you know?” He doesn’t realize something’s always wrong, with everybody. Often more than one thing. He doesn’t know everybody’s always going around all the time with something wrong and believing they’re exerting great willpower and control to keep other people, for whom they think nothing’s ever wrong, from seeing it.”

David Foster Wallace, The Pale King

“Reasons Not to Kill Yourself” by Hannah Renée

  • At some point, you will hug someone so hard that you cry and the two of you will feel as if you are becoming one person. Hold on a little longer.
  • There are so many books left to read and books left to write and, no matter what you may believe, your story is worth writing down.
  • The sun doesn’t shine some days but, when it does, everybody’s day is brighter because of it. Think of yourself as the sun and ask yourself where the earth would be without you.
  • Fireworks don’t display their colors immediately after they are launched. It takes time before their true beauty is revealed. Some things take time.
  • Some time in your life, you will hold someone’s hand and they will tell you that they love you or that they need you or both. You will begin to feel as if you were never broken.
  • Music.
  • Think of all the lazy Sundays or Wednesdays or any days where you decide to sleep in and stay in your pajama pants and fluffy socks all day.
  • For movie marathons with your best friend where you forget to watch the movies because you’re too busy catching up and listening to stories and bitching about all the people who the two of you can’t stand.
  • Sometimes creatures outgrow their shells and need to find a new one. Take a deep breath and find a new person or place to call home. This time, try considering your own body your home.
  • Snakes shed layers of their skin Maybe you need to do the same.
  • Some lizards and starfish can regenerate lost limbs. What many people don’t know is that humans can do the same. No matter how much life hurts you, you will always grow back.
  • Trees drop their leaves every single year but they always wait around for spring to come so that they can bloom again. Every year they come back stronger than before.
  • There are beautiful things in this world that you can’t even imagine. Mountains, rivers, canyons, auroras, oceans, landmarks, cities, people, etc. Do not end your own life until you have seen them all.

Hannah Renée

“Do you know the legend about cicadas? …

“Do you know the legend about cicadas? They say they are the souls of poets who cannot keep quiet because, when they were alive, they never wrote the poems they wanted to.”

John Berger

“To His Lost Lover” by Simon Armitage

 

Now they are no longer
any trouble to each other

he can turn things over, get down to that list
of things that never happened, all of the lost

unfinishable business.
For instance… for instance,

how he never clipped and kept her hair, or drew a hairbrush
through that style of hers, and never knew how not to blush

at the fall of her name in close company.
How they never slept like buried cutlery –

two spoons or forks cupped perfectly together,
or made the most of some heavy weather –

walked out into hard rain under sheet lightning,
or did the gears while the other was driving.

How he never raised his fingertips
to stop the segments of her lips

from breaking the news,
or tasted the fruit

or picked for himself the pear of her heart,
or lifted her hand to where his own heart

was a small, dark, terrified bird
in her grip. Where it hurt.

Or said the right thing,
or put it in writing.

And never fled the black mile back to his house
before midnight, or coaxed another button of her blouse,

then another,
or knew her

favourite colour,
her taste, her flavour,

and never ran a bath or held a towel for her,
or soft-soaped her, or whipped her hair

into an ice-cream cornet or a beehive
of lather, or acted out of turn, or misbehaved

when he might have, or worked a comb
where no comb had been, or walked back home

through a black mile hugging a punctured heart,
where it hurt, where it hurt, or helped her hand

to his butterfly heart
in its two blue halves.

And never almost cried,
and never once described

an attack of the heart,
or under a silk shirt

nursed in his hand her breast,
her left, like a tear of flesh

wept by the heart,
where it hurts,

or brushed with his thumb the nut of her nipple,
or drank intoxicating liquors from her navel.

Or christened the Pole Star in her name,
or shielded the mask of her face like a flame,

a pilot light,
or stayed the night,

or steered her back to that house of his,
or said “Don’t ask me how it is

I like you.
I just might do.”

How he never figured out a fireproof plan,
or unravelled her hand, as if her hand

were a solid ball
of silver foil

and discovered a lifeline hiding inside it,
and measured the trace of his own alongside it.

But said some things and never meant them –
sweet nothings anybody could have mentioned.

And left unsaid some things he should have spoken,
about the heart, where it hurt exactly, and how often.

 

Simon Armitage, from The Book of Matches (Faber, 1993)