You died on a Monday evening.
The Weather Channel says it was raining and windy
but I don’t remember that.
What I do remember is
the phone call in the wee hours of the morning.
The three-hour drive to the airport.
The Delta employees being too kind too helpful,
(there must be a secret code on one’s ticket for
“Her mom is dying.”)
The long wait for the rental car, the longer wait for luggage.
The traffic at rush hour, the helicopter, the rubberneckers.
The plea to god to let me arrive in time.
The dad on the porch crying.
The clock frozen at 6:21.
The dead body in your bed.
The stillness of the room, the energy gone.
(Where does it go?)
The lock of hair I snipped from your head.
The mini-van.
The whispered good-bye.
The dog standing in the driveway.
The howling.
The tears.
The tears.
The tears.
“The Tears” by Christy Anna Jones, via Melancholy Hyperbole.
***
“Are You Alright” by Lucinda Williams
all the heart emojis.
all the love
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Thank you. Like all the thank yous. ❤️
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xo xo times 1000….or more
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Received and gratefully sent right back atcha. ❤️
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‘The stillness of the room. The energy gone.
‘(Where does it go?)’
Oh yes. Truth and pain and love in your words, Christy. This Lucinda Williams track was one of my husband’s favourites. I had it stuck as a bizarre and somewhat haunting refrain in my head for days after he died. Somehow, I’m just not surprised to see it pop up here. x
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There’s not too many coincidences in this world, are there Hannah?
If any case were to be made for the existence of a soul, it’s that “energy gone” after death. You just feel it, you just know.
Lots of love to you, daily posts soon! April 1. 🙂
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No words. Just tears. There is something about having to fly home. Did it twice a few years back, and it’s so weird being in that state of zombie when everyone else is all “are you traveling for business or pleasure?”
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Oh Susan, I took WAY too many of those flights. My heart aches for anyone ever in the same situation. It’s such a helpless feeling.
That day my mother was dying, everyone was eerily friendly and helpful. It must have been all over my face. Or else I was just surrounded by angels. That’s possible too. ❤️
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